Sweet start!
X is someone I know working at an SMS solutions company in Egypt.
So X gets an email from A working at one of the two cellular network providers in Egypt referring him to an "important" prospective client, a Mr. Gamal (no not Mubarak Jr.).
X calls A.
X: So who is this Gamal guy?
A: He needs to send *alot* of SMSs. And I mean *ALOT*.
X: Really? Where does this guy work? What's he advertising?
A: Uhh.. I think you better speak to him directly. I did what I had to do and refer you to him. His number is in the email.
X: Yeah I noticed. Alright then I'll get to that. Thanks.
A: Don't mention it.
X calls Mr. Gamal
Gamal: WHO IS THIS?
X: Mr. Gamal?
Gamal: SPEAKING. WHO IS THIS?
X: Hello Sir.. this is X from ... We got information that you needed to send several SMS ads?
Gamal: Ah. You're the message people.
X: (message people? :-/) Yes Sir.
Gamal: I will call you back.
In a few moments X gets "private call" displayed on his cellular. He answers.
Gamal: I need to send 18 million messages...
X: (not believing his ears.. knowing that that's simply impossible, he still imagines the amount of money out of this guy) Sorry Sir how many messages??!
Gamal: I SAID 18 MILLION MESSAGES. I WANT..
X:(cutting him short) Uhh I'm sorry Sir.. That's pretty much impossbile.. We don't have that number of cellular phone numbers in our database...
Gamal: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!
X: I'm sorry Sir but we only have 800,000 cellular phone numbers in our database...
Gamal: WHAT?! 800,000 ONLY?!?! ONLY?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING?!
X: No Sir.. well if we include the numbers that aren't registered for ads then thats 1.5 million numbers... but those numbers aren't authorized for sms ads.. but I think we can see about that...
Gamal: WHAT? ONLY?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I WANT 18 million!!
X: Sir the number of cellular phone users in Egypt is around 8 or 9 milion only..
Gamal: WHAT?! ONLY?!?! WHO AM I SPEAKING TO EXACTLY?? WHAT DO YOU WORK IN THE COMPANY??
X: I am the Sales and Marketing Executive Sir..
Gamal: Give me your personal ID number...
X: May I ask who this is Sir? The company you are associated with?
Gamal: I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO GIVE YOU THAT INFORMATION. GIVE ME YOUR PERSONAL ID NUMBER!!!
X: (Gives the number and trying to get smart says:) Do you want the address too?
Gamal: DON'T WORRY.. WE WILL GET IT!
(Gamal hangs up in X's face)
(A few moments later another "private call")
Gamal: OK LISTEN.. WE WILL SEND TO ALL THE NUMBERS IN THE DATABASE SEVERAL TIMES EACH..
X: Ok Sir...
Gamal: WE NEED TO SEND SMSs TO USERS IN THE GOVERNATES OF PORT SAID, MONOFEYYA, SUEZ ....
X: (cuts him short) But Sir we don't have numbers in those regions...
Gamal: WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! ARE YOU KIDDING?!
X: No Sir but most of the numbers in our database are from Cairo... the remaining are in Alexandria.. we don't have numbers in the other governates...
Gamal: WHAT?! CAIRO AND ALEXANDRIA ONLY?! THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!! THIS WON'T WORK!! WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH!!
(Gamal hangs up in X's face one last final time)
(Later...)
Me: Phew! So you didn't know where he was from?!
X: Wait .. I'm getting to that... Later my boss gets a call from some guy at the Republic's Presidency.. apparently he was my boss' friend.. he was kidding with my boss saying, "Come on man.. What was that.. Hehehe.. You were going to get alot of money man!! We called you guys up today and some guy called X said you couldn't send 18 million messages! Bad move!"
Me: Republic's Presidency?! Ahaaa... They were going to SMS to campaign for Mubarak! Pheww 18 million! Sure why not... they've got all our money.. But wait.. isn't it illegal for the Republic's Presidency to be involved?? I mean it being a government bureau and all? It should be impartial to any candidate right?
X: Yeah.. That's probably why he didn't want to say where he was calling from..
Me: Ohh.. and the Republic's Presidency expenses aren't covered by the Public Accounts Bureau.. they can fucking spend as much as they want on the campaign and noone would know.. bastards.. sweet start.. I hope it just comes down to campaign expenses..
X: Do you really think so?
Me: Ehhh....
So X gets an email from A working at one of the two cellular network providers in Egypt referring him to an "important" prospective client, a Mr. Gamal (no not Mubarak Jr.).
X calls A.
X: So who is this Gamal guy?
A: He needs to send *alot* of SMSs. And I mean *ALOT*.
X: Really? Where does this guy work? What's he advertising?
A: Uhh.. I think you better speak to him directly. I did what I had to do and refer you to him. His number is in the email.
X: Yeah I noticed. Alright then I'll get to that. Thanks.
A: Don't mention it.
X calls Mr. Gamal
Gamal: WHO IS THIS?
X: Mr. Gamal?
Gamal: SPEAKING. WHO IS THIS?
X: Hello Sir.. this is X from ... We got information that you needed to send several SMS ads?
Gamal: Ah. You're the message people.
X: (message people? :-/) Yes Sir.
Gamal: I will call you back.
In a few moments X gets "private call" displayed on his cellular. He answers.
Gamal: I need to send 18 million messages...
X: (not believing his ears.. knowing that that's simply impossible, he still imagines the amount of money out of this guy) Sorry Sir how many messages??!
Gamal: I SAID 18 MILLION MESSAGES. I WANT..
X:(cutting him short) Uhh I'm sorry Sir.. That's pretty much impossbile.. We don't have that number of cellular phone numbers in our database...
Gamal: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!
X: I'm sorry Sir but we only have 800,000 cellular phone numbers in our database...
Gamal: WHAT?! 800,000 ONLY?!?! ONLY?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING?!
X: No Sir.. well if we include the numbers that aren't registered for ads then thats 1.5 million numbers... but those numbers aren't authorized for sms ads.. but I think we can see about that...
Gamal: WHAT? ONLY?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I WANT 18 million!!
X: Sir the number of cellular phone users in Egypt is around 8 or 9 milion only..
Gamal: WHAT?! ONLY?!?! WHO AM I SPEAKING TO EXACTLY?? WHAT DO YOU WORK IN THE COMPANY??
X: I am the Sales and Marketing Executive Sir..
Gamal: Give me your personal ID number...
X: May I ask who this is Sir? The company you are associated with?
Gamal: I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO GIVE YOU THAT INFORMATION. GIVE ME YOUR PERSONAL ID NUMBER!!!
X: (Gives the number and trying to get smart says:) Do you want the address too?
Gamal: DON'T WORRY.. WE WILL GET IT!
(Gamal hangs up in X's face)
(A few moments later another "private call")
Gamal: OK LISTEN.. WE WILL SEND TO ALL THE NUMBERS IN THE DATABASE SEVERAL TIMES EACH..
X: Ok Sir...
Gamal: WE NEED TO SEND SMSs TO USERS IN THE GOVERNATES OF PORT SAID, MONOFEYYA, SUEZ ....
X: (cuts him short) But Sir we don't have numbers in those regions...
Gamal: WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! ARE YOU KIDDING?!
X: No Sir but most of the numbers in our database are from Cairo... the remaining are in Alexandria.. we don't have numbers in the other governates...
Gamal: WHAT?! CAIRO AND ALEXANDRIA ONLY?! THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!! THIS WON'T WORK!! WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH!!
(Gamal hangs up in X's face one last final time)
(Later...)
Me: Phew! So you didn't know where he was from?!
X: Wait .. I'm getting to that... Later my boss gets a call from some guy at the Republic's Presidency.. apparently he was my boss' friend.. he was kidding with my boss saying, "Come on man.. What was that.. Hehehe.. You were going to get alot of money man!! We called you guys up today and some guy called X said you couldn't send 18 million messages! Bad move!"
Me: Republic's Presidency?! Ahaaa... They were going to SMS to campaign for Mubarak! Pheww 18 million! Sure why not... they've got all our money.. But wait.. isn't it illegal for the Republic's Presidency to be involved?? I mean it being a government bureau and all? It should be impartial to any candidate right?
X: Yeah.. That's probably why he didn't want to say where he was calling from..
Me: Ohh.. and the Republic's Presidency expenses aren't covered by the Public Accounts Bureau.. they can fucking spend as much as they want on the campaign and noone would know.. bastards.. sweet start.. I hope it just comes down to campaign expenses..
X: Do you really think so?
Me: Ehhh....
posted by wutever at 12:54 PM
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